Feeling a little stressed?

In class we finally got to the part that makes every family go on the rocks: Family crisis. It happens in every family and it can either strengthen or break the family apart. It’s just a part of life. No matter how hard we try to avoid a crisis, it will happen and it’s up to us how we respond to it.

Brother Williams taught us the A+B+C = X method of understanding a family crisis.

Actual event

Behavioral response

Cognitions

____+______________

       eXperience

It’s easy to think “Well when the crisis happens we will be ready for it and it’ll all be smooth sailing through it all.” Easier said than done, right?

The A in our equation is basically the constant. The event that happens represents the A, we can’t change it, we just take it. The B stands for how people respond to the situation, they might be the type to shut down and go basically in a coma and they don’t respond to anyone. The Cognitions is the thought process that everyone has. Sometimes what we are thinking doesn’t reflect in our behavior, at least not that other people can easily see.

Through this formula we might be able to understand how someone’s experience will come about based on how they handle their situation that is presented to them. Even if I’m experiencing the same crisis as someone else in my family, I will most likely have a different outcome than them because my behaviors and thoughts are different.

In our book it talked about how the death of a child in a family is possibly the most intense and severe events that can take place in a family. If you had a child that passed away it would be heart wrenching. I’m not saying that you don’t have the right to mourn the death of a child. However, I would suggest to the parents that you make it known unto each other how you are feeling. Don’t throw it to the side, thinking it will get better on its own. This is one wound that can become infected if left alone and only worsen the situation. Remember it’s not the other’s fault or your own fault. If you need to, get professional help, together. Don’t be ashamed for getting help, it’s better to receive than to drown in all the troubles.